For all you people who take everything so literally, this next section is satirical.
I do not drink coffee in church. It’s a cultural thing. Other people do it, therefore I must stray away from it. Some churches accept this culture and drink their coffee black. Still others, are even more liberal and like it with sugar and even some cream. They do this all in the name of being culturally relevant. I wouldn’t be surprised if those churches started allowing espressos in their services. I tell you, these people with their fast ideas and their caffeinated theology, they’re are all about the quick relationship with God. They know nothing of spending real personal time with their creator. That’s why these folks have itching ears, always learning but never experiencing the truth. I’m glad my church doesn’t drink coffee. Water is all we need. After all, Jesus didn’t give the woman at the well coffee.