Decaffeinated Please!


For all you people who take everything so literally, this next section is satirical.

 I do not drink coffee in church. It’s a cultural thing. Other people do it, therefore I must stray away from it. Some churches accept this culture and drink their coffee black. Still others, are even more liberal and like it with sugar and even some cream. They do this all in the name of being culturally relevant. I wouldn’t be surprised if those churches started allowing espressos in their services. I tell you, these people with their fast ideas and their caffeinated theology, they’re are all about the quick relationship with God. They know nothing of spending real personal time with their creator. That’s why these folks have itching ears, always learning but never experiencing the truth. I’m glad my church doesn’t drink coffee. Water is all we need. After all, Jesus didn’t give the woman at the well coffee.


7 thoughts on “Decaffeinated Please!

  1. I drink coffee while they are playing the music and singing because they do not allowed coffee in the sanctuary. This keeps me from having to listen to the new rock and roll that is now called “church music”

  2. We have coffee in our foyer, but we aren’t allowed to bring it into the sanctuary. . .ya know, you gotta keep your actual real life (foyer) separated from your spiritual life (sanctuary)!! Otherwise, things start to get tough. . . 😉

  3. Danny, you forgot about all of the different FLAVORS of coffee… and I’m thinking people skipped over the first line of your post, where you pointed out it is satire… Personally (and satirically), if I’m going to be drinking coffee, it’s gotta have some flavor in it. Same goes for my water, actually! Water is great–it’s good for you, most of the world is made up of it, and so are our bodies… but it’s not ALL that there is, and it’s not all that can be good for us. Coffee, in moderation, can be a good thing. 🙂
    Ginny, I think you really nailed the issue on the head.

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